I know that makes it sound like he's walking. He's not. He's very close, but he's so cautious that as soon as he feels unsteady, he sits down.
Anyway...let me give a bit of background. Ryan has been a terrible sleeper from day one. He refused to sleep in his crib, in a bouncy seat, in a rocker, in the boppy, etc. until I ended up just sleeping with him laying on my chest on the couch for a good six weeks. After that, we transitioned to our room where I had a bassinet-like thing beside our bed. He always, however, seemed to end up in our bed before the night was over. There were a couple of nights of glorious misleading where he slept for 4, 5, 6 hours without waking, but that never lasted for more than a few days. We eventually moved his crib into our room with one side of it open so it was flush with our bed. I would just roll him back over in there when he finished nursing so we would both have more space and hopefully sleep. When he started getting more mobile, we put the other side of the crib back on. Each week we thought that we would finally, hopefully get to the point of him sleeping through the night. Each week we were disappointed by his seemingly relentless pattern of getting up every 2-3 hours.
Fast forward to the weekend of his birthday...I have some really great friends who are also moms of kids the same age as Ryan. Thanks to their advice and tough love, I came to the realization that it might be time to move Ryan into his room so we could move away from him nursing all night, every night. I left Massachusetts that weekend with the intent of moving Ryan's crib into his own room the following weekend. For whatever reason, Nik and I couldn't get our act together to get that crib out of our room until this past weekend. Still, I was determined.
On October 9th, I began working with Ryan to help him understand that he didn't NEED to nurse during the night. He also didn't NEED to sleep with me. Admittedly, those first few nights were rough. There was a lot of crying and a lot of back-arching and irritation on his part. Each night got a little easier, but it was definitely not fun.
Mark it on the calendar. On October 14th, 2011, Ryan slept in his crib in his own room for the very first time. And do you know what? That little stinker slept for 11 hours straight without waking up. I slept in the living room to be near him if he freaked out, but he never did. I even went in around 2:30 am since he had been sleeping for 8 hours. I had to make sure he was still breathing. Nik and I thought it was probably a fluke and that the next night would be awful. Nope. Another 11 hours. And last night, there were two different times that he partially woke, but he never had to be removed from his crib or nursed to get him back to sleep. We are a happy, happy house!!!
It seems that I created a vicious cycle. I kept Ryan in my room, because he was waking up every 2 hours and Ryan was waking up every 2 hours because he was in my room. I can't begin to express how guilty I feel that I ruined our entire family's sleep for MONTHS because I had no idea what I was doing. I know there was no real way of knowing that was what was going on, but still. It's tough to admit that the problem I often complained about was of my own creation.
I know we'll have set backs from this point forward when he's sick or about to cut a tooth, but I feel confident in my ability and Ryan's to manage this without creating another terrible situation. At this point, it seems like he woke up on Saturday a toddler. He's not a baby anymore. And while that is an exciting thing to witness, it's bittersweet. I have to remind myself that this transition is good for all of us. This parenting thing is not easy, but I think I'm learning.
